This is something I have been wondering for a while. Since I am at an age where my friends, colleagues and cousins are either planning kids or already had them. I do see a sense of purpose, an intangible change in almost all new parents. My curiosity is whether a parent changes because of the baby or just for the baby.
Often I have noticed new parents saying that parenthood has made them patient and calm them. Or friends of new parents commenting on how calm the woman or man has become. That makes me wonder, does a new parent become a better version of oneself because of their child or do they switch back and forth, as versions of themselves? Is temper or empathy relative, do people really change because of the baby? Or is it a 2.0 version of oneself for the baby?
Sophie’s choice question remains – one and the same person or they have two different faces, a hard nut for the rest of the world and a marshmallow for the little munchkin. If a person is short tempered and blows fumes all the time, can they change in a day? A cut throat competitor, can they become empathetic all of a sudden? Does a child bring out undiscovered qualities in a parent or is it the sleepless nights that reduce anxiety and power of the brain? One may think a baby turns a man into a father and woman to a mother, wiring in the head changes. One becomes more mellow and patient.
Back to the curiosity in my mind, is it because of the baby or just for the baby? We all have idols, any parent would be thrilled to be an idol of their child. And hey! No body idolizes a short fused bloke! Do we have parental instinct and are proactively different with our children, then back to who we are in front of others.
Seemingly this topic remains without a conclusion. At this juncture, I can only speculate and see changes with my friends and peers. I do sincerely hope though, when I have a bunch of my own, I do change because of the child and not just for or in front of them.